Lost in a good book

false-spring-queen:

So I finally (read: a million years late) got my hands on The Woman Who Died A Lot, and can I just say that THURSDAY IS SUCH A BADASS EVEN GETTING UP THERE IN YEARS AND WITH A BUM LEG AND I WANT TO BE HER.

That is all.

Go read some Jasper Fforde, ffolks.

REVIEW: The Fourth Bear (Nursery Crime #1), by Jasper Fforde

swishandflip:

The Fourth Bear, by Jasper Fforde
Published: 2006
378 Pages
Adult Fiction/Science Fiction
My Rating: ★★★★★ / ★★★★★

Synopsis in a Single Sentence:

The Gingerbreadman is on the loose again, and although they can’t come to an agreement on whether he’s actually a cake or a biscuit, it’s up to Jack Spratt and Mary Mary of the Reading Nursery Crime Division to get him back behind bars - while simultaneously discovering what happened to Goldilocks after she left the three bears’ house…

Click “Read More” for the full, spoiler-free review!

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Jasper Fforde, “The woman who died a lot”

janvangoyen:

“Before, I suspected I might not amount to anything, and now I know I won’t, so at least it takes away the wearisome burden of delusive hope.” Jasper Fforde.

A message from Goliath’s CEO

Hello. We live in difficult and dangerous times, where uncertainties, both political and financial, lurk around every corner. We at Goliath have only you the consumer and citizen in mind as we steer the corporate leviathan around the tricky seas of modern life. For many of you, Goliath has been a loyal friend throughout your life, and like loyal friends, we respect the trust that you place in us to do the right thing for you. 

Detractors might try to place a wedge in between that friendship, and to you we say:

   ”Remember who helped you buy your first house, your first car, who delivered your first child, who built your furniture and put a roof over your head. Who made your holidays possible, and who warned you about the ills of too much choice? Without the Corporation, things would have been a lot harder, and that’s not what you - or we -want. We want only for you to be happy.” 

Some misguided people have seen fit to oppose the corporation in the courts and on the streets in anarchist movements that have caused untold amounts of suffering to millions of people. These so-called “freedom fighters” are not your friends. How often do you see an anarchist put food on your table and a roof over your head? Some prominent Goliath employees have joined the anarchists and are spreading the most loathsome lies about the way we do business. Do not listen to them. They are jealous of your success. They are unhappy people who deserve pity. Anyone who joins them will not be a friend of Goliath and like all broken friendships will end in recrimination, doubt, lost jobs and repossessed houses. The journey against Goliath is a fool’s journey. 

Fifty years ago we were a small multinational with only 7000 employees. Today we have over 38,000,000 employees in 14,000 different companies dealing in over 12,000,000 different products and services. The size of Goliath is what gives us the stability to be able to say confidently that we will be looking after you for many years to come. In 1956 we became a publicly listed company, and in 1961 we were the biggest corporation there had ever been. By 1972 our turnover was equal to the combined GNP of 92% of the planet’s nations. In 1979 we became a principality, and in 1982 we formed our own laws, currency, and armed forces. Next year we see the corporation take the next leap forward - to fully recognised religion with our own Gods, demi-Gods, priests, places of worship and prayerbook. Goliath shares will be exchanged for entry into our new faith-based corporate management system, where you (the devotees) will worship us (the Gods) in exchange for protection from the world’s evils and a reward in the afterlife. I know you will join me in this endeavour as you have joined us in all our past endeavours. You are dear sweet people and we love you very much. Goliath. For all you’ll ever need. For all you’ll ever want. Ever

Your Friend, The CEO.

(Source: jasperfforde.com)